When you dare to dream.

Taco Tuesdays: When you dare to dream.

When you dare to dream.

Dear Man of my dreams,

When I was a little girl of preschool age, you sounded and looked a lot like my daddy. You were tall and strong and really, really brave. If there were bumps in the night you were there. If I was ever sick you were there. You made me laugh and told me I could be anything I wanted to be. You, my man of my dreams were real.

When I was a teenager, you were the latest and greatest heart throb ever to grace the world. I was going to be the one in a crowd who got your attention and would change everything (thank goodness that didn't happen)

When I was a young lady, you had glimpses of my dad but now you rode a white horse and rode in at just the right time, yet allowing me to always stand alone. I was strong and brave and not needing you for anything but an occasional saving and great night out. You were handsome and loving but my independence was more important.

And then in one incredibly tender moment without warning my heart was changed.

When I found true love; a love that is everlasting. Then, and only then, is when the man of my dreams came into full light.

You see it was a lonely December eve when I was on my floor face down and I cried out to God and everything changed.

As the days went on I came to see that the love I was seeking was unconditional and incredibly different then what I had read or seen over the years.

My dad’s love is a beautiful wonderful love and I am so thankful for that love. But this love, this love that I found was breath taking.

You see this love came from God and it sweeps me off my feet every moment of everyday.

This love is: patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered it keeps no record of wrong. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects always trust always hopes always perseveres. Love never fails.

And now the man of my dreams is that love. The love that we can only have because of the Lord.

My man is patient, when I was young and untamed in my ideas of marriage and parenting and life in general you showed me patients and taught me kindness and how to speak slowly and wait on the lord.

The man of my dreams never needs to ride in on a white horse to be love. My man is not rude or boastful. He is tender in his re-poof of me and his boasting is filled with words of praise for God and what he thinks of me. (It’s crazy this love)

My man is not easily angered, what I see is a man who is long suffering for my ways are difficult and tiring.

My man, he may not remember all the little details of our life together and I'm okay with that because that also means my man keeps no record of wrongs - and boy do I have some dooseys.

The man of my dreams has prayed for me in ways that only a lover can because he seeks truth and not the lies of this world.

The man of my dreams, he has and does protect me and our family by his constant steadfast love for God.

My man and I have always had hope and we have discovered that love always perseveres

Because when you get to 20 years of marriage you have seen the hill tops of great love and you have tasted the deep valleys of true love.

It comes in waves this type of love, because we live in a world that is lost and desperate for this love.

We have walked through the great joys of having four amazing healthy children but we have also sat in the valley of a miscarriage.

We have rejoiced with the success of jobs and houses but we have also grieved through the mess of no jobs and painful struggles.

This undeniable love that we cannot attain on our own but have gained because of Christ continues to strengthen us.

It feed our souls to bring us closer to God and more deeply committed to our marriage.

This year is the celebration of twenty incredible years of marriage

Marriage is an incredibly sacred gift that needs to be cared for with the utmost respect. It will be filled with the craziest kind of love you could ever possibly imagine which will help to sustain it when it is being attacked by so many life lessons that come our way.

It is nothing we can brag about as if we have accomplished this on our own. It is with joy and praise that we can celebrate the work the Lord has done.

Today the man of my dreams is real and he is my husband. Together we are two imperfect people saved by grace and filled with the greatest of loves, to carry us through the days ahead; days shared with our amazing children, loving family and friends.

T'was the Night before Christmas.

There are days and nights and nights and days that seem to roll into one in my little world. As I hustle and bustle I think I can even forget to breath. So by the time it is dark and I have finally laid down in bed I wonder what on earth did I do today?

By Gods glorious grace I was alive and I find peace in that; that I was allowed to see today with the bright sunrise in the morning and the bright moon to fill the dark sky at night.

I made coffee and prepped for dinner. I wiped up some messes, but more realistically I probably complained and raised my voice over those messes more than I care to admit. I drove back and forth and then back and forth some more. I believe there was a few dozen loads and unloads of laundry and some more mess and certainly some more of my raised voice - who are we kidding, it’s yelling.

But in the midst of all that. I saw love. I felt love, and, as if I had never experienced that before, it melted me. Because I have learned to let it, after all these years of walking with my God, I have finally learned to take in the love that is in every moment:

It's the smile from the store clerk that you know wishes she was clocking out instead of in.

The stories of what my kids days were like while away from me give way to love, a trusting and deep love.

The silent support from my man as he works long hours away from his castle.

The choice to be thankful for dirty dishes and the prep of yet another meal or school project.

I can find myself floundering in this life I’ve been given. But I am loving the literal minute by minute love notes Jesus has been leaving me my whole life that I now see and breath in.

Today is a new day and in fact it is the day before Christmas. There are last minute gifts to be purchased. Cookies to be baked. Certainly some house cleaning to be accomplished. Definitely some driving back and forth and then back and forth some more.

But, even more so there is love. Being patient is love, serving another is love, listening is love, letting go is love.

I will yell today. I know it because I'm flawed. I will probably even find myself clinging to more stress and life nonsense then this abundant love from Christ that I write about. Thankfully I can say I am my beloveds and He is mine. I will eventually let go again, see the grace and breath.

I want to go see what today holds.

My thoughts run wicked sometimes.

The mind is a wicked place. Filled with doubt and fear. It plays such a crazy game with the heart. The mind can be redeemed to become a treasured tool feeding the heart with the truths that bring forth joy, peace and hope.

 

But when left to its own devices the mind gets cluttered with messes that can wreak havoc in our lives, giving way to fear and anxieties, feelings of inadequacy and depression.

As a woman I find myself battling the mind daily. Some days are precious and guided by the reminders of where I have been and where I am.

And then there are the days where my every thought seems to a boxing match with Mike Tyson. You know, those battles that say, "you're not godly enough, pretty enough, thin enough...". I am still just as vulnerable to the need to be popular and included. We will raise the question, "what is wrong with me?" if we let go and let the lies in.

I am not equipped for these fights. I lose every time. No matter what and how far I have come if I stand on my own I fall.

When I said, " My foot is slipping," your love, O Lord, supported me.

When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. Psalm 94:18-19

Asking for help or admitting the need for help is the hard part. It's the biggest part of the battle because once we ask for help nothing can stop the rest of the battle from crumbling.

Like the string on a rug if you don't tug at it it stays right there. Not where it belongs and not adding anything, just there. But give it a tug and the old comes unraveling with great ease making room for restoration and a restringing of beauty. Take the step and fill your mind with the truths that the Spirit uses as a tool for the great purpose of feeding your heart and your soul.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving present your request to God. and the Peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers,whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. Philippians 4:6-8

Crazy is as crazy Love allows.

I did it.  I put myself out there taking a challenge to write every day for 31 days.

What I didn't do was write every day for 31 days. I know what you're thinking, " thanks Captain Obvious".  But hey,  at least I took the challenge. I wrote 16 heart felt posts about how incredible I know God's crazy love for me to be through His Word and blessings in my life.

I also discovered that I really enjoy writing and pray that the Lord allows this blog to go somewhere for His glory and the encouragement of the hearts and families of others. I learned that writing takes time if it's going to be more then just words on a page. I gained so much from this challenge. I found other blogs that are all about money saving tips, (awesome find for a mom of four and then some). I read 

blogs about hurt and pain beyond anything I have experienced and yet I felt so connected to those hurting because of their deep love and trust in God.

Others centered around food.  I'll be honest - anything food based is going to be a favorite. I love me some good food good fun and good times.

But the challenge for me will be to continue the call that I felt God place.

To trust him fully, love him deeply and give it all away through my heart. I hope to be an encouragement to my family and to those out there.

Love is.....

For eight weeks my man and I have attended a Bible study focused on marriage oneness.

We have sat in a room with about 40 other couples and more closely sat at a table with three other couples all of whom have been married any where from under five years to upwards of 20.

Coming around a table of people who had never met each other, but who are now going to exchange answers regarding their "feelings" or "state" of their marriage seemed uncomfortable at best.

Lets face it, this marriage oneness course was covering everything from communication, conflict resolution, sexual intimacy and budgets.

Them there are some biggies! Even for the husband and wife to discuss never mind discussing it with strangers.

When we signed up for this class both my man and I looked forward to "attending". You know, just being there. Instead we were asked to be the table leaders. Not a daunting task, but still a task when I just wanted to attend.

There was something wonderful waiting for us in being the table leaders - three incredible couples and the journey the Lord has us all on with one common bond leading the charge.

God created marriage.

It is a gift and a treasure to be enjoyed every step of the way.

I learned that oneness is an ever moving circle. When it is moving in the right direction it is building upward towards the things the Lord has designed marriage to be. When it is spiraling downward it is still a oneness that is at work but not a oneness that brings us closer but one that makes us alone.

There is a beautiful definition the class gave for oneness,

"Oneness is soul level harmony of mind, heart and will."( Life Ready by Robert Lewis)

It equates to mind- common direction; heart- emotional connection; and will- mutual commitment between a husband and wife.

During these eight weeks we have done a lot of learning about ourselves.

We have always been committed but we had grown a little stale, you know, like that bag of your favorite chips. You'll eat them because their your favorite but you sure wished they were a fresh bag.

Every once in a while you need to splurge and make it fresh again.

Love is patient and kind and it does not envy or boast and it isn't proud. Love is not rude or self seeking. It is not easily angered or keeps records of wrong.

Putting these elements into practice in our marriage moves the marriage in the upward momentum of God honoring for Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth.

And the truth is that all of us want a marriage that is treasured.

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. Love never fails.

When marriages become stale at best or shattered at worst, love still hopes. Even when it runs out of faith love still holds to hope.

For a love that hopes refuses to take hardship or failure as final.

We can all experience oneness whether in our relationships with family or friends or in the context of marriage.

1Peter 3:8-9 Finally all of you be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one anther, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

 

Who of us couldn't use a little compassion or Love?

During these eight weeks I have been refreshed for the calling of being a child of God, wife to my man, a mom to my children and friend to friends.

Reaching for oneness is something that is a journey. By days and at moments it may seem out of reach and at other times it can be so rich that it takes you farther then you imagined.                                                             

 

                                                                           

                                                                         1Corinthians 13:4-8

                                                                   Love is patient, love is kind.

                                                          It does not envy it does not boast, it is not proud.

                                                                It is not rude, it is not self seeking.

                                                 It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong.

                                               Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

                                            It always protects always trusts, always hopes always perseveres.

                                                                          Love never fails

Persevering through the years. (31 days)

When my kids were babies it was sweet and tender. The days were filled with morning snuggles and baby play dates. Afternoons were naps and snacks.

And yet there seemed to be a common theme among the moms. 'Who am I' in light of being someones mommy, diaper changer, Dr. appointment maker?

And now, now that my kids are older, some out of the house and a few still at home, I wonder do I still question 'who am I' in light of being someones, home work checker, chauffeur, guidance counselor?

I can answer that now as my alarm goes off at 6:15 am  not because I have a job to get ready for but for the job that is my home and my people-the people that God has used to blessed my life - I am somebodies mom.

I am the one who gets to wake them with tenderness and breakfast.

 

I am the one who makes their lunches

I am somebodies chauffeur and guidance counselor

I am still their Dr. appointment maker

I am still the snuggler.

I don't wonder who I am in light of who they are. For they are mine and I am theirs.

Love always perseveres

 

Through the little years of naps and diapers when you feel that this will be all that life has become to the years of teenagers and puberty. Love perseveres. And when it does through our lives it brings new days filled with God's mercy and grace.

"Love always perseveres." (1 CCorinthians13:7)

"I lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and earth." (Psalm 121:1-2)